decisions and dilemmas ……

This past week has been a bit more than interesting, provoking in some respect, encouraging in others, but different. It starts with my need to evaluate my status, to gain some level of understanding of how to proceed with respect to my disease.  Which, will not something on which I dwell, it is now necessary because on Thursday I get my quarterly checkup and, more importantly, my quarterly blood draw which will include a PSA test.  While I would normally dismiss the day as simply another day in the life of my cancer, this day requires a decision, a decision on whether to continue with the one therapy keeping my disease at bay, but which could, at any time, be overcome by the cancer, the outcome of which would put me on a timeline to my end.

 

Discoveries and Searches …..

Yesterday was a very special day, it was, in a manner of speaking, the culmination of a long-standing goal, of the finding of something, someone often thought of and who was not always known to exist.  I’m not sure if made more special given my condition, my cancer, or if, the disease prompted the final ‘push’ toward what transpired.  What made the day so special was finding someone long-lost, someone, at one time, thought to have died, but  who frequented my thoughts, and, as the odyssey unfolded, I learned, frequented those of my siblings.  While all mentioned plays a role, I think it is about family, about life and perhaps of providence.  it is about finding a biological sister.

 

Moving Forward and Seasons …..

In my last post I ended by mentioning that the conversation in which I participated had left me with some dilemmas.  Not too long ago I was also asked about where I felt I was in life, in what metaphorical season I saw myself.  In some ways these are, or could be, separate topics, but I will instead incorporate them into one writing.  Somehow an interrelationship seems to exist, some connection which, despite my best efforts, comes to bear given the this omnipresent disease.

 

Time, Change and Dilemmas

Well, and as promised with yesterday’s post, I’m writing again today.  This time about a recent learning which was something of a shock and if not, totally unexpected.  What was that you may ask, it was the death of a person whom I’ve known casually for about 7 years now.  I say casually because I only saw her and her family at gatherings this time of year.  What was so unexpected, she died of ovarian cancer about one month ago.

Every year, for about 7 years now, a group of families with children affected with Autism or Aspergers, get together for the birthday of one boy who was born on New Years Day.  In time the birthday party turned into a potluck and as much a social event for the parents as a birthday celebration.  It consisted of a relatively small group, 4 families, bound by the disorder, but whose children, and by association, their parents, have become friends.  It is in this context that I met Marilyn, her husband Walter and their two boys.

 

Catching Up …..

It has been a while since I’ve written, many reasons, but principally life and a forgotten password of which I was less than motivated to retrieve.  I thought I might catch up those interested, on things since the last post.  If so motivated, I may offer another post, a bit more current and more central to the theme of my writings.